22-year-old baker makes his sister a gray gender-reveal cake for her baby because he never got the information on the babies gender: 'Why would you make it gray? That's so passive-aggressive.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 10, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

A lot of people hate the idea of a gender reveal party, and I understand why. It is wild how much emotional energy we put into finding out the gender of a baby. Sure, it might be one of the few things we can know about someone before they are born, but is it really worth crashing a plane or burning down a forest? I know that most gender reveal parties merely peak with the carving of a cake, whose insides will reveal the gender of the baby. Such an act usually doesn't do any bodily harm to anyone, unless you've got a rogue cake-cutter on your hands. If you're an expecting parent who already had a baby shower for your first kid and has all of the essentials, a gender reveal party can be a fun way to celebrate the birth of a new baby without expecting everyone to buy you car seats, bottle warmers, and play pens. 

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  • The expecting mom in this story just wanted a nice, neutral cake to serve at her gender reveal party. Instead of baking her a cake that reflected the theme of the party, her brother baked her a cake that was disdainful towards the concept of gender reveal parties.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10503669248
    via Oosman Exptal. B&W

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for making my sister's gender reveal cake grey because she wouldn't tell me the gender?

    I (22M) bake as a hobby, and I'm actually pretty good at it-like I get paid under the table for weddings and baby showers kind of good.
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 03
    My sister is pregnant and wanted me to make the cake for her gender reveal. Cool, no problem. I asked her to send me the info so I could prep the inside-classic pink or blue filling. She says, "Oh no, I want to be surprised too. Just make it neutral for the reveal and we'll all find out together."
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10503670528
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    I was like... huh? So you want a gender reveal cake with no gender revealed...? She says she'll have someone email the info to me later. That someone never did.
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 06
    Deadline comes, and I still have no gender. So I make the cake. It's grey inside. Grey outside. Just full on cement vibes. I even added little fondant clouds for effect. It still tasted great, but visually? Grim ash I.
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 07
    The reveal day comes, they cut into it, and my sister looks pred. Her husband is confused. People start murmuring. Then she pulls me aside like, "Why would you make it grey? That's so passive- aggressive."
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10503670784
    via Camylla Battani

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    calmly reminded her that no one told me the gender. I literally had no data to work with. I told her I wasn't about to guess or go full improv on someone's baby cake.
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 10
    Now my mom says I embarrassed her in front of the family and that I "should've tried harder." Tried harder to do what, summon the gender through vibes? So... AITA for making the most neutral reveal cake in history?
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 11
    Independent-Cat6915 I'm confused. Did you not take the opportunity to message as the date was coming closer to tell your sister: "Hey, I haven't gotten the info on the gender. A you check on this?"
    via u/Independent-Cat6915
  • 12
    MilktheAlgorithm OP I actually did follow up-asked her a couple days before the reveal if the info had been sent, and she just said something like "yeah, someone's taking care of it." I figured it was handled. I didn't want to pester her since she seemed chill about it at the time. If she really wanted the gender in the cake, she could've double-checked too. I was relying on the system she set up, and it just didn't come through.
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 13
    Ok_Copy_8869 Why couldn't you have made it yellow and baby themed or something? It seems pretty vindictive to make the cake a "grim cement vibes" for an important event where you'd be serving many more people besides your air headed sister. I understand you were frustrated but , that's all anyone is going to remember from that event now which was kinda YTA.
    via u/Ok_Copy_8869
  • 14
    allison375962 Yeah just make a cake with the theme: baby. Vanilla. Chocolate. Yellow. Red velvet. Green. Purple. Elephants. Giraffes. Balloons. Toys. Building blocks. A baby's face. Literally the possibilities are endless.
    via u/allison375962
  • 15
    There was literally no reason to take a passive aggressive jab at your sister on her big day. So what there was some confusion about whether they wanted the cake to be pink or blue? This is such a massive overreaction to a perceived slight. Grow up.
    via u/allison375962
  • 16
    KAZ--2Y5 Also you literally have to do extra work to make your frosting gray. It could have just been white. The utter contempt for the sister and going out of the way to be a is what makes it YTA. Or I guess ESH?
    via u/KAZ--2Y5
  • 17
    Erick Brimstone I'm more leaning on ESH because she (sister) never give info nor make sure that "someone" actually give the information.
    via u/Erick_Brimstone
  • 18
    Sovegna Vos Yeah but OP never indicated to sister that he didn't have the information. She trusted someone else to pass on the info and OP, rather than saying 'hey I still haven't received anything and I need to bake the cake today', chose to keep quiet to...get one over on his sister?
    via u/SovegnaVos
  • 19
    PracticalPrimrose Info: were you paid for your time and ingredients? ETA: Op was not paid for time OR ingredients. Also they followed up to ask about the gender a few days before and was brushed off. NTA in my opinion. Sis was pretty demanding and then all the other stuff... yeah - gray was a bit harsh. But then be respectful of your family and their donated expertise.
    via u/PracticalPrimrose
  • 20
    MilktheAlgorithm OP Nope...I wasn't paid
    via u/MilktheAlgorithm
  • 21
    RickyNixon Yeah this is hilarious but extremely passive aggressive. OP couldnt just make a regular cake? In the story, sister seems like shes cool with just a regular cake for the party, and that they can reveal some other way. OP is just really hunt up on The Right Way to do a gender reveal party, and decided to make an ugly cake as a statement of disapproval. YTA OP
    via u/RickyNixon
  • 22
    peony_chalk ESH. Your sister shouldn't be asking for a genderless gender reveal cake. "Make it neutral and we'll find out together?" Like what's the point of the cake then? Why not just ask you to make a cake that tastes good and is cute/appropriate for a baby shower? Your sister should have made sure you had the info you needed.
    via u/peony_chalk
  • 23
    You on the other hand ... yes, making it all grey was a move. People who choose not to find out the gender ahead of time are typically called "Team Green." Green would have been a great color if you didn't know the gender. Yellow is neutral too. So is white. Even orange or red would have been better than grey. You DID go full improv on someone else's baby cake, and you intentionally made the cake something you knew she wouldn't like. You also could have followed up with your sister to remind her
    via u/peony_chalk
  • 24
    minasituation I'm sorry but it's obvious she meant make it neutral on the OUTSIDE. It is extremely common for the parents to find out the gender at the party when cutting into the cake; they don't usually know before everyone else. Sister obviously dropped the ball as well by not making sure 100% the info got to OP, but she wasn't wrong about a neutral looking cake with the icing on the inside being the reveal.
    via u/minasituation
  • 25
    SessionBoring9259 YTA. I understand the frustration but you could've told her nobody sent the info over and just made a cute baby shower style cake. It was in fact unnecessarily passive aggressive. Especially crappy to do to an emotionally fragile pregnant person on their special day. Communication sucked on both sides.
    via u/SessionBoring9259

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Tags

cake family drama pregnancy brother colors siblings baking baker cakes family pregnant sibling sister gray baby cakes parents gender reveal
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